No parent has ever meant to harm their child intentionally but then how do parents destroy their child sometimes? It could be due to work pressure, family issues and multiple factors which compels them to be unreasonable with their little ones. But beware, this behavior can have a negative effect on your child emotional and psychological well-being.
Are you also one of those parents who unknowingly destroy your child by doing any of the below?
Neglecting your child
Does you child has a poor appearance or hygiene? Are you constantly ignoring, humiliating, intimidating or isolating them? These can be signs of physical and emotional neglect.
Neglect can be of broadly 2 types:
Physical Neglect: Failing to provide your child basic physical needs such as warm clothes in winter, repeatedly keeping them hungry for long periods of time, compromising with their hygiene, leaving them unattended for more than an hour.
Emotional Neglect: Ignoring a child’s emotional needs when they have a feeling of sadness or anxiety, can cause them to feel unimportant, ignored, and unloved. Additionally, child can feel insecure if their is an extreme domestic violence or the spouse has no respect for each other in the house.
So, be alarmed as a parent if you think your child demonstrates poor hygiene or is being irrational or bizarre lately. Maybe they are neglected by you knowingly or unknowingly.
Overprotecting them
Do you often talk to your children’s friend in case of any disagreements and try to sort out the issue yourself?. So you are surely being an overprotective parent and rather than helping your child you are being intrusive in their life.
Overprotective parents may have good intentions, but their behavior can have negative consequences for their children. It can prevent a child from developing independence, self-confidence, and problem-solving skills.
Overprotective parents may create a sense of dependency in their children, leading to a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. Helicopter parenting may also shield children from social situations, leading to a lack of social skills and difficulties in forming relationships.
So avoid being an overprotective parent at all costs which can destroy your child. Let them sort out their issues themselves, take their own decisions and help only when required .Let your child develop essential life skills and become a well-adjusted, independent adult.
Criticism and negative feedback
Do you tell embarrassing or revealing stories or criticize your kids behaviors’ in front of others? This is maybe an attempt from you to change their unlikely attitude or behavior.
But this is a constant criticism and negative feedback which can lead to a child developing low self-esteem, self-doubt, and feelings of inadequacy. They may begin to doubt their abilities and worth. This behavior of many parents can cause anxiety and stress in children, leading to a lack of confidence and difficulty coping with daily life.
So, don’t be a mean parent and appreciate your child’s small achievements. Try to give them constructive criticism and positive feedback. Never speak about their shortcomings in front of others. Even if you are disappointed with them, approach them my asking questions like “Are you happy with how you behaved?” or “Is there anything you’ll do differently next time?” or “How we can help to behave you better” .
These positive criticism and talk can save them from depression, being disengaged or disinterested in social activities and they will get additional support to cope with the negativity in their lives.
Inconsistent parenting
Do you promise your child gifting them a new bicycle when they score marks according to your expectation. But when the D-day comes you ignore your child’s demand by saying that “it is a waste of money as the old one has not worn out till now. Will see next year”. This is inconsistent parenting for sure.
Inconsistent parenting refers to the situation where parents are not consistent in their expectations, discipline, and communication with their children. This type of parenting can have several disadvantages, including:
- Confusion: Inconsistent parenting can create confusion for children, as they are unsure of what behavior is expected of them. This can lead to anxiety, frustration, and a lack of confidence in their abilities.
- Lack of trust: Children may begin to feel that their parents are not reliable or trustworthy, as they are not consistent in their behavior and communication.
- Disrespect: Inconsistent parenting can lead to children feeling that their parents are not respectful of them, as they are not consistent in their expectations or discipline.
It’s important for parents to be consistent in their expectations, disciplined and communicate clearly with their children to help them feel secure, confident, and well-adjusted.
Physical or verbal abuse
Are you constantly hitting, slapping, or pushing your child because this is too casual for you and your childhood has been the same? You think that one slap does no harm and is only way to teach them a lesson.
But times have changed, so think twice before hitting your children as this can cause physical harm as well as emotional trauma for them.
Not only abusing your child physically but verbal abuse such as name-calling, yelling, or belittling, can also cause destroy your child, cause emotional harm, low self-esteem, and long-term psychological damage.
So respect your children and try to change your perspective of thinking that verbal or physical abuse is a normal part of parenting. It surely is not and can cause anxiety or stress to your child leading to flashbacks, nightmares, and avoidance behaviors.
Comparison to others
Mr X’s daughter has scored so well in school and she is such a good athlete. But why do you have such a laidback attitude, not good for anything other than troubling us with your attitude all the time. Do you frequently speak to your child in such a tone?
This behavior of certain parents who constantly compare their child to others can destroy them, cause them to feel inadequate, develop low self-esteem, and struggle with feelings of jealousy and resentment.
So, even though you are disappointed with your children ,instead of comparing them with others you can tackle the situation smartly. Ask them questions such as what they feel about their grades/achievements, behavior and where they think they need help.
Bottomline
It’s important for parents to be aware of these behaviors and strive to create a safe, loving, and supportive environment for their child so that they do not destroy them inadvertently. Parents can seek help from professionals if they feel overwhelmed or are struggling with parenting.