Advice for new mom

More than 5 years of my life were nothing less than a fairytale. I was married to my partner in crime but then reality stepped in. The reality to achieve the most crucial goal of married life, welcoming parenthood.

“Your biological clock is ticking away! better embrace motherhood sooner or you will regret later”, said my mom time and again. My social media feeds were flooded with pictures of new baby announcements and even my close friends were dropping like flies. Most of the conversations seemed to be targeted around babies and the pressure created was overwhelming. I love kids anyway and the risk of never having children due to my laid-back attitude shook me to the core. Finally, I was determined and decided to create a life-changing experience.

After several hard-luck attempts for about 5 months, I was overjoyed one morning. To my relief, I saw those double lines on the Pregnancy Test Kit!😱

My whole journey of carrying the baby was a bit nerve-wracking, for I feared too much about the safety of delicate life growing inside me. But somehow, I self-assured myself that this happens with most of the first time moms to be. After countless obstetrician visits, sonography tests, and 39 weeks, the gynecologist induced me and an angel was born in November. Life would change drastically I knew for sure but in a way which I never imagined. 

Cut back to the present day, my baby is 8 months old and life is fun with her chuckles and presence around, though a few weeks postpartum were fast emotional roller coaster ride and exhausting.

In this post, I have listed a few of my own experiences and advice for new mom or mom-to-be.

1.I did not experience any lightning bolt of love that instantaneously connected me with my baby post-delivery:

Everyone talks about how you forget all the birthing pain when you look at those irresistibly cute baby eyes. Sorry to say, it didn’t happen to me. The pain was traumatizing and I just wanted to escape from the labor room.

My advice for a new mom:

Don’t be guilty if you didn’t feel that spectrum of emotion post-delivery as they show in the movies. In my opinion, love and bond will gradually increase with time but it definitely won’t be love at first sight. (at least, in my experience)

2. I felt like a dairy cow:

“Maybe the baby needs feeding” – said my trusted ones whenever she was cranky or restless. Nobody bothered to know if the baby was colicky or had some other trouble. But to my dismay, she was indeed hungry most of the time and they proved themselves correct. I spent a major chunk of my day only on feeding and it is no fun task in the initial days.

My advice for a new mom:

Experts recommend feeding the baby “On Demand” or every couple of hours. But trust me, most of the time you need to go by “On-Demand Feeding”. Babies have a tiny stomach so prepare yourself to breastfeed almost every hour. (at least for the first 2 months of their life)

3. I missed my husband:

Earlier, my hubby used to scan and empty the whole first aid box on a single bruise to me. But my baby turned out to be a hypnotizer, she drew all his attention towards her. His behavior seemed to be off-putting towards me. There weren’t enough words of warmth or affection which I expected post-delivery.

 My advice for a new mom:

Your hormones are playing tricks with your mind right now. It’s ok to mourn your past carefree life as a duo, but trust your partner and give him some time. It’s not easy to sink in the feeling of a new dad either. Meanwhile, he is also juggling with a lot of new responsibilities.

4. I could not sleep at a stretch for more than 2 hours:

Baby’s frequent feed intervals made sure that I never slept for more than two hours at a stretch. It’s so naive of people to suggest that adjust your sleep cycle according to your baby. You wish to poop, shower, collect laundry, or even have one cup of coffee in peace when the baby is sleeping.

My Advice for a new mom:

Adjusting your sleep cycle according to your baby is a piece of age-old advice. I am not a fan of this theory and warn you to be ready to trade off your sleep for the baby’s good (at least for the initial 6 months). The brain is agile and learns to change according to your routine. So lack of sleep won’t be so daunting after 6 months and life can move on a smooth track.😉

5. I never knew that constipation can be such a huge deal:

Many mothers complain about dealing with constipation troubles during their entire pregnancy. I thanked my stars to not experience it during that time. But after about 1 month of labor delivery, I faced some shitty constipation for about 2 months. 

My Advice for a new mom:

Have a diet full of high fiber foods post-delivery if doctor permits and you had a labor delivery. Additionally, make sure that you drink more than the recommended amount of water as the body uses most of the fluid in generating breast milk. It will be extremely helpful if you consume a glass of water before as well as after feeding.

6.No cloth drying stand is big enough for my baby:

To date, one cycle of the machine load is reserved daily for my baby’s clothes only. We mostly keep her on cloth nappies and as a result, there is always a huge pile of laundry in our home. If your baby pee or spit up a lot, and you wish to keep them diaper-free then they can generate tons of dirty clothes. So no whining about this one. 😊

Advice for a new mom:

Impending parenthood will require a huge cloth drying stand and a large baby laundry detergent. Moreover, you will require 7 to 8 nappies daily if you are planning to keep your baby on cloth nappies. So stock accordingly, dear mommies. 

7. It was not so gross to clean the baby’s poo as I imagined:

Before I had my own baby, I was disgusted by the stinky baby poop. But after the little girl’s arrival, cleaning it was not much of an arduous task. In truth, I was euphoric whenever she pooped. This kept her playful for the rest of the day and not screaming anytime due to gastric issues. 

Advice for a new mom:

Don’t be anxious even if you have never handled a baby’s poop before. Wiping a baby’s butt is an easier job than cleaning your own. At least you can see where the dirt is👀. 

8. House cleaning was the last thing in my mind or I skipped it altogether:

My baby kept me on toes. I was either breastfeeding, changing her diapers, making her sleep, or adhere to her other needs. Other essential chores such as cooking or performing my own ablutions took the rest of my time.

Advice for a new mom:

This advice is especially for the mom’s suffering from OCD of cleaning. Cleaning is good but obsession isn’t. Few years down the line you will feel nostalgic for the time spent with your infant and not how well maintained you kept your house during those days. So, cherish each hour of the day with your infant for it can never return.

9. Not sure, but maybe I suffered from a bit of postpartum depression:

Owing to the family traditions, I was cooped up at my home with my newborn for around 40 days. Feeling of isolation and an unexplained sadness lingered on during that time. I used to lose my temper over trivial matters and it seemed that some unknown force was controlling my mood. 

Advice for a new mom:

It’s normal to have postpartum blues and mood swings if you are a first-time mom. You have a period of feeling ecstatic over a piece of small news and then later on the same day you can feel gloomy. To cope with this, take a break from motherly duties and dedicate some me-time for yourself. Ask other trusted family members to take care of the baby for the time being. 

10. I was feeling overly worried after giving birth:

A bulk of my browser history those days had information about SIDS(Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) in infants. This was the paramount reason for my anxiety. Whenever I admired the beauty of the precious newborn crooked in my arms, the very next moment I was dreadful with a fear that something bad will happen. I could not stop myself from constantly checking the baby’s breath when she was sleeping or if the surface of her bed was too soft or if the room-temperature was comfortable enough or if co-sleeping can somehow harm her, the list was endless. 

Advice for a new mom:

SIDS is rare so don’t worry too much about that. Talk to your elders or family members if you have such horrifying thoughts. But it’s better to take care of some factors such as putting your baby sleep on their back, keeping their crib bare or not overheating them. For more details check here. 

Final Advice for a new mom:

Try to make endless memories with your munchkins, for you will cherish it for the rest of your life. 

• Print their feet and hands and save the imprints in your locker. 
• Dress them up and celebrate their monthly birthdays. 
• Create their email account and post a journal with their photos in it. Gift them on their 18th birthday or whenever you wish. 

Be creative and you will have infinite ideas to secure your baby’s memories.

Little did I know that with all the trials and frustrations, new motherhood would still manage to be such a surreal and delightful experience.😍

Your heart comes in your mouth when your baby screams in the middle of the night. But the warmth they stir within you with their smiles is inexplicable!

A child is the most treasured gift any woman could ever ask for.🙂

Happy Parenting!